How to Deal with a Conflict-Avoidant Partner: 9 Ways

For example, maybe you had a parent who physically harmed you when they became angry. Or you were in an emotionally abusive relationship with a partner who stonewalled you when you disagreed with them. Rather than fearing disagreements, mastering these skills helps you see conflicts as opportunities to understand each other better and grow together. When handled well, conflict can actually strengthen relationships by clearing up misunderstandings and building trust.

Have a weekly meeting with your partner

Naming them internally allows you to privately announce that you’re feeling dysregulated. Similarly, conflict doesn’t have to be a scary, negative experience. When navigated successfully, many people find that moving through conflict can help them problem-solve and feel closer afterward. We aim to support the widest array of browsers and assistive technologies as possible, so our users can choose the best fitting tools for them, with as few limitations as possible.

• While avoiding conflict can be a short-term solution to maintaining peace, it is not typically healthy in the long run.
• This strategy is particularly recommended for addressing conflict with a romantic partner, or anyone else you want to maintain a strong relationship with.
• Unfortunately, conflict avoidance creates only superficial harmony.
• It would help if you also considered therapy when trying to learn more about how to deal with a conflict avoidant spouse.

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Remind yourself that you cannot control other people

• Then communicate them clearly, directly, and respectfully to others.
• That means that if you’ve experience abusive situations in the past, you may have learned to put your emotions last and not assert them.
• Another powerful tool is using “I” statements instead of “you” statements, which reduces blame and makes it easier to share how you feel without putting the other person on the defensive.

However, validating your partner’s how to deal with someone who avoids conflict feelings is crucial for building trust and moving forward. If you’re struggling with conflict avoidance, talking with a trusted friend or relative can help you to process the issue. People who love you can provide support and a rational viewpoint, encouraging you to stand up for yourself. In some cases, conflict avoidance occurs because we always assume the worst during disagreements. We imagine that approaching an issue with our partner will result in a terrible argument, a screaming match, or maybe even a relationship breakup. Or, perhaps, you begin to feel anxious and depressed because you aren’t expressing your needs in your relationship.

• They represent four negative communication habits that can destroy even the strongest relationships if left unchecked.
• Avoidance does not eliminate conflict; it merely postpones it, often allowing underlying tensions to grow stronger over time.
• This is when the two of you can sit down, discuss what is going well, and work through areas that need improvement.
• They may act this way because they simply have a conflict-avoidant personality, or they may have also been diagnosed with conflict avoidance disorder, also known as an avoidant personality disorder.
• You can express disagreement calmly and respectfully, to address an issue without starting a fight.
• By addressing a clear (and fixable) issue versus painting the person as a problem, it should be easier for the person on the receiving end to hear you out and actually fix what’s bothering you.

Seek professional help if needed

If face-to-face discussions feel too intense, try writing each other letters or texts about important issues. This can help your partner express their thoughts without feeling pressured. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when we don’t talk about problems.” This reduces defensiveness and keeps the focus on your feelings rather than blaming your partner. Once you can embody that all feelings are a valid part of your reality, they feel less taboo. However, certain emotions like shame, fear, helplessness, and loneliness can feel quite debilitating.

Recognizing signs of potential discord, such as communication breakdowns or emotional distancing, is crucial to avoiding conflict in relationships. Proactive measures involve fostering open dialogue, actively listening, drug addiction treatment and expressing feelings honestly. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but what happens when one partner prefers to avoid arguments altogether? While some people are comfortable addressing issues head-on, others may withdraw, shut down, or try to brush things under the rug.

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